Mahatma Gandhi - love him or hate him, but you can never ignore some of his wise stances against some social evil. The following is a letter written by him to Jayaprakash Narayan, when the latter was having some issues in his conjugal life with Prabhavati. I felt this letter to be so relevant to the current times, when the courts discuss whether a husband can forcibly have sex with his wife and decide some dumb things. Read on!
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Yervada Jail
November 21, 1930
Chi.Jayaprakash,
Today I have sent you a telegram about Prabhavati which you will have received. I await your reply. I hope you have sent her to the Ashram. The best thing of course would be for you to go with her and have her fixed up there. Any programme about her future work can be decided after she gets well. I understand your sorrow. I have thought over it. You should not say anything to Prabhavati. If she is moved by desire there will be no problem. But if she has no stirrings of desire, it becomes your duty to protect her. I need hardly remind you that women have as much right to freedom as men. It is my firm opinion that if one partner in marriage has sexual urge it is by no means the duty of the other partner also to have such urge, though it is the right of the partner with the sexual urge to satisfy that urge. This is perhaps one of the causes of polygamy. Just as it will be considered immoral for a man to cohabit with a wife who is ill it should also be considered immoral to cohabit with a wife who has no sexual desire. It is therefore my earnest advice that if Prabhavati has no craving for sex you should give her freedom and find yourself another wife. I see no immorality in that. After all what is to be done? How can your craving be forcibly stifled? You consider sex necessary and beneficial for the spirit. In such a situation I would not consider a second marriage immoral from any point of view. In fact, I feel that your doing so may well set an example to others. Many young men use force on with their wives. Others visit prostitutes. Still others indulge in even worse practices. Prabhavati has chosen to live the life of a virgin. You do not wish to practise brahmacharya. Therefore, I see nothing wrong in your respecting the wishes of Prabhavati and finding yourself another wife. If you cannot think of another woman, you should, for the sake of Prabhavati, observe brahmacharya
November 21, 1930
Chi.Jayaprakash,
Today I have sent you a telegram about Prabhavati which you will have received. I await your reply. I hope you have sent her to the Ashram. The best thing of course would be for you to go with her and have her fixed up there. Any programme about her future work can be decided after she gets well. I understand your sorrow. I have thought over it. You should not say anything to Prabhavati. If she is moved by desire there will be no problem. But if she has no stirrings of desire, it becomes your duty to protect her. I need hardly remind you that women have as much right to freedom as men. It is my firm opinion that if one partner in marriage has sexual urge it is by no means the duty of the other partner also to have such urge, though it is the right of the partner with the sexual urge to satisfy that urge. This is perhaps one of the causes of polygamy. Just as it will be considered immoral for a man to cohabit with a wife who is ill it should also be considered immoral to cohabit with a wife who has no sexual desire. It is therefore my earnest advice that if Prabhavati has no craving for sex you should give her freedom and find yourself another wife. I see no immorality in that. After all what is to be done? How can your craving be forcibly stifled? You consider sex necessary and beneficial for the spirit. In such a situation I would not consider a second marriage immoral from any point of view. In fact, I feel that your doing so may well set an example to others. Many young men use force on with their wives. Others visit prostitutes. Still others indulge in even worse practices. Prabhavati has chosen to live the life of a virgin. You do not wish to practise brahmacharya. Therefore, I see nothing wrong in your respecting the wishes of Prabhavati and finding yourself another wife. If you cannot think of another woman, you should, for the sake of Prabhavati, observe brahmacharya
Blessings from
Bapu
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