The ‘Other’ Uses of IRCTC’s Website!

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I am one of those innumerable people that had been driven to the end of their wits and made to split hairs attempting to book a ticket (under 'tatkal') through the Indian Railways’ website, popularly known as IRCTC. While making an unsuccessful attempt recently, waiting with nail-biting anxiety, sitting at the edge of my seat, I was wondering as to why this website can’t be put to better use instead of for simply booking the train tickets – which in any case has a success ratio of only one in a gazillion!

I could think of only some of the uses like below. Those who can give more such suggestions are most welcome. We can compile all these suggestions and send them as a petition to the Ministry of Railways. What say?!

Suggestions:

1.    The students that remain anxious about their approaching exams or the exam results can be made to book a ticket through IRCTC, especially under ‘tatkal’, which can show them what real pressure is all about and put them at ease about their examinations or results.

2.    The expectant mothers can be asked to book a ticket under ‘tatkal’ during their labor, which can make them forget their pains and ease their labor.

3.    A person who has made a proposal to his/her beloved and is quite anxious about her/his acceptance can be made to book a ticket – again through ‘tatkal’ - to help him/her overcome that pressing anxiety.

4.    We can also ask an estranged, saddened lover to use this website to make him/her realize that there are worse pains in life than just ‘love failure’.

5.    Anti-social elements can use the website for gambling. A person who makes 10 bookings in a row, without any time-outs, disconnections, system or communication errors, can be given an award of one lakh rupees! Wait a minute, doesn’t this sound like a lucrative betting business?! Any volunteers for partnering with me?

6.    Any politician, who is out of favor with the people and media, can use this website as a reason to go on fast or agitation, demanding the improvisation of the website. Trust me, he will fetch more votes in the next election that he contests.

7.    A hyperactive teenager or any adamant/arrogant/egoist person can be given a challenge to book a ticket through this website. Trust me, this will definitely put him/her in his/her rightful place.

8.    We can ask Ajmal Kasab to do at least 100 ticket bookings per day to earn his food. He will easily commit suicide and we can thus get rid of an unwanted terrorist, keeping India’s holy-cow status untainted. But, I am not responsible for this suggestion if Human Rights organization is going to blame me for his death!

9.    We can include the design of this website in the syllabus of Computer Engineering students under the topic ‘How-not-to-run-a-website’.

10.    We can use this for meditation or concentration practice. Ask any person who has attempted booking a ticket – s/he will tell you how calm, still and motionless one is supposed to sit staring at the monitor, uttering those miniature prayers within for the success of the attempt!

11.    We can form a commission to study the structure of the website and give out suggestions for improving the same. This way, we can give employment to some retired government employees who are in need of financial support a means to support themselves for the next five years.

12.    We can use this website in the campaign against population increase. We can tell people that this is what will happen when such a huge population tries to access and attain such a limited resource!

13.    When Windows proudly brags so much about its ‘Blue-Screen of Death’, we Indians can tell them that we have our own version of the ‘White Screen of Dread’, i.e., ‘Service Unavailable’!

14.    And, to wrap it all up, the IRCTC’s failure to maintain a proper website can feed idle people like me with something to make fun about and write about!!!

I have quite a few more ideas thronging my mind, but let me take rest for a while as I am so exhausted after my attempt to book my tickets at IRCTC. Will refresh and renew my energy and get back to you soon with more ideas!