Thoughts that died a cruel death!

 Friday, March 25, 2011

Does anyone ever come across moments like the ones that I frequently feel myself furnished with? Moments when the mind is flowing with a divine, supreme energy? Thoughts that are as clear and pure as the sparkling waters of a brook from a snow-covered hillside? Moments when your mind seems to be brimming with thoughts, emotions, passion, energy and love of a rare kind?

You read a good line in a book, hear a good note of music or listen to a great piece of Ghazal or watch a splendid piece of painting and suddenly find yourself and your Soul being filled with some supreme serenity and bliss. Your mind gets filled to the core and to the extent when it needs a conduit to flow, a sluice gate to open, a place to flow into?!

And what if that you find that you neither have a place nor a path for the same supreme serenity, bubbling passion and endless energy to flow into? That all you are surrounded by is only an endless loneliness? A vast vacuum that is so endless and seems to be engulfing your whole life? Moments when a boring, mundane, dullard, lonely you staring back at you and drains all your enthusiasm and bliss for life?

Why is loneliness a curse that is always cast upon the person that dreads it the most? Or for that matter why is it that we always end up getting married to our most-feared about ways of life? Why is the most-coveted thing of our life the most elusive one too?

How exactly does one express certain emotions? Emotions that are half-formed even in their complete form? How to express the inexpressible? Moments when the mind feels like how the universe was before the big bang – nebulous but with an all pervading calm?!

How and why is there a duality in emotions? Emotions that carry the tinge of sorrow as well as happiness? The absence of someone mingled with the hope of the arrival? How does one describe the longing that seems to be beyond anything carnal, anything banal or anything ephemeral?

Just like a drop of tear that releases immense amount of depression from one’s mind? Like a simple, seemingly ordinary whiff of air to breathe that a drowning person would give one of his limbs for?

With whom to share all these thoughts, the bliss, the serenity, the joy, the passion, the ethereal ecstasy? How do we save the thoughts, the bliss, the serenity, the joy, the passion, the ethereal ecstasy that tend to die a cruel death and get buried by the passage time and get scattered by the winds of ever-arriving, never-arriving next moment?!